2017 showed me the real world. It’s not all tours and adventures. Not all get this and get that. Not all pretty and candid photographs. 2017 taught me that the world is tough, and so as the people that lived in it. Guards are held up higher, values are hereby stronger and I thereby came out wiser. I may have seen new cities this year, ticked off lots from my bucket list. But my greatest adventure yet, was learning. Learning from my mistakes, learning to love those who hate, and learning to understand why things break.
I celebrated New Year’s Eve away from home, away from my family and friends. There’s a certain sense of wonder whenever I do so, hopping from one country to the next. Last year I had a eventful and loud New Year’s Countdown at Downtown, London. This year I did so with a serene view of the Sunset at Sta Cruz Wharf, California. The calmness of the ocean, and the cold breeze of the weather made me extra sentimental whenever I think of the events that took place in my life this year. My strength was tested, my values were broken and my faith in myself is questioned. There were times when I felt like giving up. Giving up on everyone, on everything. I abused myself. I abused everyone who loves me. I abused the life that was given to me. I abused my sexuality. I abused the world. Never did I realized that as I do so, I was actually letting the world abuse me too.
If being naive can be an excuse, then there wouldn’t be any debate on what I feel. The excruciating embarrassment and self-loath would have been defended by my rational thinking. But instead, I was vulnerable to pain. All hold ups and down falls should not be an excuse for me to stop living. 2017 was a year of learning, 2018 would be the year of leaping.
Happy New Year, everyone! Wherever you may be.