As I inhale positivity and exhale the opposite, I began to appreciate the word Shavasanah. It is the practice of Nidra meditation while lying flat on the floor releasing all effort and relaxing the soul. It’s my favourite part of yoga, which basically is the easiest. And during my consistent grinding through the beautiful chaos of travel and life, do I find myself drawn to the mere of idea of it.
I flew to New York in between backlogs from my Europe, Korea and China trip. Weeks of consistent traveling coupled with surviving time zone jumps and jet lagged brains, I am surprised my body hasn’t taken its toll yet. Having this as just my second visit at the Big Apple, I wanted to do something different. Instead of the usual curling my hair, wearing a cute outfit and taking pictures at places people back home will envy about – I decided to do yoga. We went to CoreYoga at Bryant Park, which is strategically located at the Uptown part of New York. Yogis were enthusiastically welcomed by the concierge, as one by one they lay their yoga mats on the floor and did Shavasanah. I felt welcomed. The yoga itself was relaxing. We meditated for a full hour with dimmed lights, heated rooms and lighted candles. I wasn’t new to this. Back in my home country I would usually attend heated yoga classes up to 30 degrees C while trying to balance myself on one foot. It helps me get back my body’s circadian rhythm. And so as my train of thoughts.
Then it hit me during meditation. Why am I so sad lately? I have been quite melancholic for awhile now, and honestly, no one ever even noticed. As I strut my way through travels and candid photographs, do I sleep in between depression. I have been flying for 4 years now, rotting in the mere existence of the aviation system. Exploring, but not growing. Next year I would turn 25, quarter life as many would call it, and yet I still struggle to achieve who I really wanna be. A crisis only I keep in my head, dwelling on the 10% that had happened and is lacking in my life. And forgetting about the remaining 90. 90% which comprises how blessed I am – with my family whom I love and my loved ones whom I treat as family. Both of which makes up the essential part of living. More than the lifestyle we maintain. The invisible career ladder we struggle to climb. And everything else in between that are nothing but worldly.
It’s easier said than done. I know. Especially when you’re at the verge of your sanity. But today, as the world celebrates thanksgiving, would I step back and try to fathom my inner wars. Fight quarter life crisis until I laugh it out. Embrace anxieties until they vanish. And appreciate life as I live the now. Because from now on, I should be nothing but grateful.